


Divided Loyalties

by kat8cha



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Ficlet, Forced Pregnancy, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Suicidal Thoughts, because like sensate births, focus is on Angelica, idk man i just want to be sure i don't trigger anyone, neither Jonas or Whispers has speaking lines, so it's sort of forced pregnancy, there are there as background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:58:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4344092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kat8cha/pseuds/kat8cha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angelica is no angel and she is no Mary but she will be a martyr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Divided Loyalties

The BPO gathers sensates to them. Or, if gathering is not an option, it abducts, murders, and lobotomizes them. Sensates with useful skills or sensates with a significant lack of moral fiber end up on the BPO’s payroll. Sensates with useful skills also end up under the BPO’s knife, their boots, their microscopes.

Angelica is useful. She comes to the BPO unborn, untouched by the sentiment of a cluster. When it’s discovered through careful testing that she can birth clusters… well, she is elevated from ‘useful lab rat’ to divinity overnight. It is how she meets him. He… he doesn’t meet every sensate to walk through the door, if he did surely he would go mad, but the useful ones, the special ones, yes. They earn his attention. She isn’t frightened of him, at first, not even after the first cold brush of his mind against hers. She is, at that age, still ruthless, driven and her fear (what she has) is pointed towards not occupying a slab in the morgue.

They say that becoming a mother changes you. 

The first birth is clinical, painless, she grasps at the hands of everyone in the room (everyone but Whispers is dressed in hazmat suits, his is the hand she holds tightest, longest) and gasps out the names of the new cluster as her mind touches them. Her children die one by one and though she never meets them, though her ties to them are glancing at best, she feels each death.

The nightmares begin soon after that.

She wakes, crying out in fear, and is not soothed by the touch of his mind against hers.

(He knows. He enjoys her fear.)

Her second birth she screams into her own fists rather than grasp his hand. She fights against his touch, his mind, but she cannot… she tells them the names of the cluster, tells him their locations. These ‘children’ last longer, two of them are killed through no fault of the BPO (they die during a visit, neither of them paying attention to their own worlds), three of them agree to work with the BPO, three of them…

…death would have been kinder.

She tries not to think of them. She thinks (she knows, now) that her intent drives the birth of her clusters. The first one was an experiment, the people were… she hesitates to use the word ‘weak’ but they were… they were experimental. The second birth she hoped only that they would not all join the phantoms in her nightmares.

She begins drinking more than she should. She cannot take anything harder. She cannot take… she is informed that her life is no longer her own. She cannot even have that. 

Her third cluster fights hard and dies harder. 

It’s than that she meets Jonas. He is a sensate, yes, but he is not yet awakened, not yet birthed when she meets him. When their eyes meet the first time she can feel… everything. He is so very open. He loves, feels, so very freely, a true sensate.

He loves her.

She cannot help but love him back.

(She hates him.)

(She loves him.)

(She cannot choose.)

She wakes up a week later screaming.

(Jonas wakes up that night, his mind awash in the thoughts of others and knows, knows, he has to run.)

They both have to run.

He, he, he is there every step of the way until she… well, the BPO had experimented long ago as to what drugs enhanced or dampened a sensate’s abilities. 

She cries at the first touch of bliss, the first moment of silence.

She does not stop crying.

Not until the night she dies.


End file.
